Goodbye...

The last two weeks have been long and sad to say the least.  Dad passed away at 4:20pm on Saturday, March 17.  He fought with courage and bravery until the very end.  What's most remarkable is that my father never complained-- even though he couldn't eat, could hardly drink, and at the end was unable to walk.  It makes all of the mundane things I whine and moan about seem awfully silly.  My mom, Megan and I were all beside him when he took his last breath and it is an image and time that will be forever sealed in my heart and mind.  I am so grateful we were all together as a family when he passed away.

One week ago today was my father's funeral.  We were overwhelmed by the love and support family and friends bestowed upon us.  Friends, neighbors, and relatives we haven't seen in years came to the visitation and funeral services... it really was amazing.  And the flowers!  My goodness, there were so many flowers.  Dad would've loved that.

My sister, uncle and I all spoke at Dad's funeral.  Megan read a beautiful poem entitled "All is Well" by Henry Scott...

Death is nothing at all.
I have only slipped away into the next room.
I am I, and you are you.
Whatever we were to each other, that we still are.
Call me by my old familiar name,
Speak to me in the easy way which you always used.
Put no difference in your tone,
Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow.
Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes we enjoyed together.
Play, smile, think of me and if you want to, pray for me.
Let my name be ever the household word that it always was,
Let it be spoken without effect,
Without the trace of a shadow on it.
Life means all that it ever meant.
It is the same as it ever was;
There is unbroken continuity.
Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight?
I am waiting for you,
For an interval,
Somewhere very near,
Just around the corner.
All is well. 

It was incredibly moving and I was so proud of her.  She spoke with such sincerity and love... and the things she said about mom and dad moved us all to tears.

I felt as though I could've recalled 100 different anecdotes about my father that were special to me but in the end this is what I wrote and read...

Dad was one of the most interesting people I have ever known.  To many on the outside, Dad could seem rough around the edges or quick tempered but those who really knew him knew that that was just a very small part of him.  He was passionate about his girls, doing the right thing, and music.


Dad was incredibly generous.  Every single time Megan and I would come home he would slip us a bunch of money and say, "Don't tell your mom."  One day after school we came home to a limousine waiting in the driveway.  Dad surprised us all with our first limo ride around Washington, D.C.  You can imagine how excited we were as little girls, on just an average school day, to be surprised with such a special treat!


Dad was a simple man.  He drove a red Honda Civic he affectionately called "Slick" for the past 20 years and wouldn't hear of upgrading.  "Throw her away just because she's old?  Never."


Although many don't know, Dad volunteered every Saturday at a local soup kitchen until he became sick.  He also assisted an elderly man named Carson for years, helping him take care of daily tasks and giving him company.  


Everyone who knew Dad knew he was crazy about music.  Dad was very proud of his music collection of over 5,000 albums ranging from blues to jazz to rock.  One of my favorite memories growing up was on Saturday mornings when he would blast "Start Me Up" by the Rolling Stones.  He played it so loud the walls shook and Megan and I thought it was the coolest thing ever.  


Ten years ago, when Dad turned 50, I wrote him a letter entitled, "Things You've Taught Me."  I thought it was appropriate to share some of it today.  These are things my father said to Megan and I over and over again growing up...


Be nice to your mother.  She does everything for you.
Always stop at kids' lemonade stands.
Get up early and go outside.
Take pride in your work.  Do it right the first time.
Never quit.
Rain builds character and thunderstorms are always worth watching.
Never leave home without cash.
Treat mechanics with respect and they won't cheat you.
Q-tips really can clean a car.
Children should be kept, and grass should be swept... downwind.
A good run is good for the soul.
Skipping a meal won't kill you.
Stop yelling.
Home cooking is better once you leave home.
Hot baths can cure most anything.
Volunteering makes you a better human being.
Love is everything... or nothing at all.

Dad's words will always be in my heart and in my head.  These are the life lessons I hope to pass on to my sons.  I will do my best to stay true to them... and him.  I love you, Daddy.