Lord, let me not BEAT these children...

If you know me well, you know that's something I say regularly.  Just to be clear, I do not beat our children.  In fact, I don't even spank them.  Not because I don't want to sometimes but just because I don't think it's the right thing to do.  Anyway, two nights ago we told James to start the bath water and put a LITTLE bit of bubbles in... he listens so well.

Some of you may even remember that I said they'd never be allowed to bathe together again.  Clearly I have short term memory issues.  Their smiles are pretty darn cute though!

Goodbye...

The last two weeks have been long and sad to say the least.  Dad passed away at 4:20pm on Saturday, March 17.  He fought with courage and bravery until the very end.  What's most remarkable is that my father never complained-- even though he couldn't eat, could hardly drink, and at the end was unable to walk.  It makes all of the mundane things I whine and moan about seem awfully silly.  My mom, Megan and I were all beside him when he took his last breath and it is an image and time that will be forever sealed in my heart and mind.  I am so grateful we were all together as a family when he passed away.

One week ago today was my father's funeral.  We were overwhelmed by the love and support family and friends bestowed upon us.  Friends, neighbors, and relatives we haven't seen in years came to the visitation and funeral services... it really was amazing.  And the flowers!  My goodness, there were so many flowers.  Dad would've loved that.

My sister, uncle and I all spoke at Dad's funeral.  Megan read a beautiful poem entitled "All is Well" by Henry Scott...

Death is nothing at all.
I have only slipped away into the next room.
I am I, and you are you.
Whatever we were to each other, that we still are.
Call me by my old familiar name,
Speak to me in the easy way which you always used.
Put no difference in your tone,
Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow.
Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes we enjoyed together.
Play, smile, think of me and if you want to, pray for me.
Let my name be ever the household word that it always was,
Let it be spoken without effect,
Without the trace of a shadow on it.
Life means all that it ever meant.
It is the same as it ever was;
There is unbroken continuity.
Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight?
I am waiting for you,
For an interval,
Somewhere very near,
Just around the corner.
All is well. 

It was incredibly moving and I was so proud of her.  She spoke with such sincerity and love... and the things she said about mom and dad moved us all to tears.

I felt as though I could've recalled 100 different anecdotes about my father that were special to me but in the end this is what I wrote and read...

Dad was one of the most interesting people I have ever known.  To many on the outside, Dad could seem rough around the edges or quick tempered but those who really knew him knew that that was just a very small part of him.  He was passionate about his girls, doing the right thing, and music.


Dad was incredibly generous.  Every single time Megan and I would come home he would slip us a bunch of money and say, "Don't tell your mom."  One day after school we came home to a limousine waiting in the driveway.  Dad surprised us all with our first limo ride around Washington, D.C.  You can imagine how excited we were as little girls, on just an average school day, to be surprised with such a special treat!


Dad was a simple man.  He drove a red Honda Civic he affectionately called "Slick" for the past 20 years and wouldn't hear of upgrading.  "Throw her away just because she's old?  Never."


Although many don't know, Dad volunteered every Saturday at a local soup kitchen until he became sick.  He also assisted an elderly man named Carson for years, helping him take care of daily tasks and giving him company.  


Everyone who knew Dad knew he was crazy about music.  Dad was very proud of his music collection of over 5,000 albums ranging from blues to jazz to rock.  One of my favorite memories growing up was on Saturday mornings when he would blast "Start Me Up" by the Rolling Stones.  He played it so loud the walls shook and Megan and I thought it was the coolest thing ever.  


Ten years ago, when Dad turned 50, I wrote him a letter entitled, "Things You've Taught Me."  I thought it was appropriate to share some of it today.  These are things my father said to Megan and I over and over again growing up...


Be nice to your mother.  She does everything for you.
Always stop at kids' lemonade stands.
Get up early and go outside.
Take pride in your work.  Do it right the first time.
Never quit.
Rain builds character and thunderstorms are always worth watching.
Never leave home without cash.
Treat mechanics with respect and they won't cheat you.
Q-tips really can clean a car.
Children should be kept, and grass should be swept... downwind.
A good run is good for the soul.
Skipping a meal won't kill you.
Stop yelling.
Home cooking is better once you leave home.
Hot baths can cure most anything.
Volunteering makes you a better human being.
Love is everything... or nothing at all.

Dad's words will always be in my heart and in my head.  These are the life lessons I hope to pass on to my sons.  I will do my best to stay true to them... and him.  I love you, Daddy.

Just your average walk to the bus stop...

Really!?  You brought entertainment??  

Sweet HOUR... will the bus ever come??!  Since James's school is an "International" school, each grade studies and focuses on a particular region.  The first grade classes study Australia so today they're going to The Outback for lunch.  I'm not sure how authentic chicken nuggets and french fries are :) but I'm sure they'll have a good time! 

Sunny day...

It's beautiful here today and after Pete and I picked Henry up from preschool, we found a local park (our first time since living here.  What took us so long?!).  I was also feeling a bit sad about Pete's hard morning at the gym ;) so I thought this was a fun way to spend some time with them.

Henry and another little boy were twisting the swings and then getting back on them on their bellies so they'd "spin out" as the swings unraveled.  Henry kept asking the other boy, "Are you getting busy yet?"  I know he meant "Are you getting dizzy yet?" but it was so funny listening to him keep saying it.  Kinda sounded like that Will Smith song, Gettin' Jiggy Wit It.  Except Henry is Gettin' Busy With It, nah nah nah nah nah nah nah.

I found a few local parks when I googled it so I'm excited to take the boys to try them all out.  Hope it's as sunny and pretty where you are today!

Reeeee--united...

and it feels so good...  Well, day 2 at the gym didn't go so well.  After about 30 minutes, one of the ladies came to get me because Pete wouldn't stop crying.  Look at him... he's all blotchy and polka-dotty... poor baby.

Of course he stopped crying the second I picked him up.  He is such a momma's boy.  He wants to be next to me all day long... which is sweet (and sometimes frustrating... but still mostly sweet).  We'll see how it goes tomorrow?!  It would be nice to actually get to use the gym we're now paying for.  :)

Lazy Sunday...

The only big to-dos on my list today were to run on the treadmill during Pete's morning nap, go grocery shopping, and look into spring activities on post for the boys.  Check, check, and partial-check!  Surprisingly, the grocery store wasn't even that painful today.  One nice thing about having a grocery store on just about every corner here is that none of them are ever crowded so it's quick to get in and out.  Since then, the boys and I have been playing upstairs in their playroom.  Pete's favorite thing to eat are Lego men (and in particular their hats) which you can see on this clip.  James is setting his Lego men up on a fire station and Henry is trying to get confirmation that the gun he created is cool (James quickly shoots it down) and then he proceeds to destroy it and mock James.  Funny... and about typical!  I had to quickly stop taping because Pete started dumping the Lego buckets upside down.  James gets frustrated after he sets everything up so neatly and then Pete comes through like a tornado.  That's when Henry usually chimes in, "That's what babies do!"

Wow, and as luck would have it, while I've been waiting for this video to upload, Pete fell asleep for his afternoon nap and the boys across the street invited James and Henry over to their house to play.  Sweeeeet!!  What in the world will I do with all of this free time?!  Hmmm.... #1... shower.  #2.... write Chris an email and #3.... make a(nother) cup of coffee and call my mom (okay, and fold all of this laundry while we talk).  Does everyone accumulate this much laundry??  I do at least 1-2 loads every single day but it seems to multiply.  There's never an end to it... although, I guess I am doing somewhat less now that Chris is gone.   He literally doubles the amount of laundry with all of his white undershirts, brown undershirts, uniforms (which are so bulky they take up almost the entire washing machine), weekday-after-work-clothes, weekend clothes, jeans, his black hanging-around-the-house pants, oh my gosh... can you wear anything twice?  :)  Ha ha.  I wonder what he's doing over there with all of his clothes... I'll have to ask him.  Okay, I'm off to take a shower and enjoy the peace and quiet for a bit!  Happy Sunday to you all...

  

Dinner with friends...

Friends of ours from Fort Stewart, Ga live in Pinehurst, NC (about 45-50 minutes from us) and invited us over tonight for dinner.  We've been trying to get together for the past few weeks and I'm so glad it worked out tonight.  They have two boys, Nick (8 1/2) and Will (4 1/2).  The boys played very well together and everyone had a really good time.  Unfortunately my pictures didn't turn out very well but here they are...

                     Jeff was so sweet with Pete.  Here they are watching basketball together... cute! 

       James and Nick taking a quick break from "sumo wrestling"!

                                                  Here I am with Marisol on our way out...

Marisol is coming over for lunch in a few weeks and then we made plans to take all of the boys to a cool museum in Raleigh over Spring Break.  Should be fun!

Acts of Kindness...

Today the UPS man delivered a big box from "The MacCarthy family."  I had absolutely no idea who that was.  The MacCarthy Family?  I couldn't place them and thought it must have been a mistake although the label clearly said "To the Midberrys!"  Henry helped open the box and inside we found a bunch of fun boy toys (parachute men, airplanes, puppets) and a fun bag of "girl" things for me (Essie nail polish, foot scrubs, etc) and this note:

Dear Beth, James, Henry and Pete, 

Greetings from the MacCarthy family!  Just a small token of our gratitude for your sacrifice for all of our well being, safety, and freedom.  Hope these little treats make your March happy and bright!  

Much love, Laura, Brendan, Juliana, and Samantha

Thankfully there was a small picture on the top of the card so I recognized the sender... an old friend from college that I haven't seen or spoken to in over ten years!  Can you believe the kindness?  It's simply amazing... and a wonderful reminder of how special friendships are in life. 

Health Plex Gym, take 2...

Today I decided to splurge and join HealthPlex, a local gym in town.  I say "splurge" because I feel a little guilty since we own a treadmill but... lately I've been missing the added "oomph" and motivation you get from being at a gym with other people.  When we lived here ten years ago, I was a member and loved it so I decided to check it out again today.  The gym is affiliated with a hospital so their emphasis is on whole-body wellness... inside they have a spa (with masseuse), a "health bar" with smoothies and wraps and other treats, an indoor track, an indoor pool, but what I'm really excited about are the classes and childcare.  They offer this high intensity class called H.E.A.T. which is an intense, hour-long bootcamp class.  I love those type of classes and they're hard to replicate at home on your own.  What's nice about the childcare is that it's only $1 per child, per 75 minutes.  That's unheard of for childcare prices at a gym!  Best of all, when the big boys join me this summer, they have arts and crafts, an air hockey table, Xbox, Legos, and all kinds of games and toys for them to play with while I work out.  Not to mention that they can participate in their own aerobics classes (for free) on Tues and Thurs at 11:00.  SOLD.  Pete, however, is less than sold.  This is his startled and confused look when I picked him up after working out today.

                                                      "You duped me, woman!"

Pearls of Wisdom by Henry...

Our conversation on the way to preschool this morning....

Henry:  Mom, do you think we fed Mora too much?
Me:  Hmmm... perhaps.
Henry:   When we get a new dog I want to be able to hold it and carry it around... and call it Chico.
Me:   Hmmm... that's something to think about. 

2 minutes later...

Henry:  Mom?
Me:  Yes?
Henry:  Do you think cows talk in heaven?
Me:  What do you think?
Henry:  I think yes because they say moooo all the time and that means that they want milk.
Me:  Hmmm... yes, you're probably right.

2 minutes later...

Henry:  Mom?

Me:  Yes?

Henry:  Do you think birds talk in heaven?  

Me:  What do you think?

Henry:  I think yes.

Me:  Me too.

Henry:  Because I told my whole class that after you ran into that bird and it died on the street, it's friends were talking to it and trying to help it up.  Remember?

Me:  Henry, I did not run into that bird.  It flew into our car!  

2 minutes later... 

Me:  Henry.... Did you really tell your whole class?

Henry:  Yup.  Can you open the sunroof?

2 Steps Forward, 3 Steps Back...

So I think today is one of those days where I do a lot but nothing gets done.  Pete woke up with a crummy cold this morning and Henry woke up and decided he was done going to preschool.  Yikes... you've got a long road aheadaya, kid.  It's a bit early to toss in the towel I told him.  Luckily Tylenol seemed to help Pete and a piece of chocolate seemed to motivate Henry.  We dropped Henry off at school and then Pete and I drove out to St. John's preschool in downtown Fayetteville.  Although the director was super friendly, the actual 4 year old teacher was about as awake and alive as wet toast.  No good.  Also, the drive was a good 20-25 minutes which just felt out there.  I decided since we were out and about to swing by Village Academy again.  When we visited last week, it happened to be on a Friday and the 4 year old class only meets M-Th so we weren't able to meet the teachers or see the children at play.  Unfortunately the lead teacher was out sick today (just my luck) but we were able to see the classroom and meet the co-lead, both of which seemed cheerful and bright.  Good!  On the way home, since Pete seemed in better spirits (but mostly because I didn't have Henry), I decided to run into Kohl's.  I got a 30% coupon in the mail recently and obviously I had to buy something with it.  I picked up several things, headed to the register, and just when I was about to offer my coupon to the salesclerk she reminded me that the sale doesn't start until March 7... which is tomorrow... which reminded me that I still haven't corrected the date on my watch from that stupid Leap Year day.  Ugggh.  Yes, sure, please put all of that junk on hold under my name.  We'll be back tomorrow.  It'll be kinda like fun but not.  

"Mama said there'd be days like this..."

You win some, you lose some...

So I decided that once Chris left, I was going to try very hard to 1) remain positive and 2) remain patient.  I think I'm doing a pretty good job of both and that's partly because I've decided to relax on certain things (well, a little bit).  For example, Henry wanted a cookie for breakfast this morning.  Normally I would've gotten into a full-blown discussion (read: argument) as to why that's a terrible decision first thing in the morning. Today, I simply handed him the cookie.  And you know why??  BECAUSE I WON THAT ONE... I made those cookies with applesauce and Salba, sucker!  For those of you unaware of Salba, it's this awesome super food (like flax seed or blueberries) and it comes in a powdered form that I sprinkle in anything I can get away with (baked goods, smoothies, yogurt) and the boys are none the wiser.  (I bought it off of Amazon but they also sell it at Whole Foods, etc.).  I was on a "flax seed kick" a few years ago that Allison and Chris gave me a hard time about because... well... the boys were having some "bathroom" issues as a result.  That doesn't appear to be the case with Salba.  Win, win.

This new, relaxed attitude holds true with the boys clothing choices as well.  I've learned to lighten up a bit about what they choose to wear.  I definitely prefer to pick their clothes (lest James wears shorts in 30 degree weather and Henry chooses a 2T Batman shirt and pajama bottoms to play outside in) but hey!  Whatever makes you happy.

I also need to get hot on taking the bottle away from Pete.  At 12 months, doctors recommend you switch over, not to a sippy cup anymore, but to an open-mouth cup.  Sigh.  Okay... add it to the list.  I probably also put Pete down for a nap a whole lot more than I did with the big boys but... here's the thing, he almost always falls asleep so maybe I'm the fool for not doing this with the other two.  Look, I need the break and I'll try to get one as often as possible since I don't have any friends, neighbors, relatives or even a babysitter I'm taking turns with!  As my girlfriend, Bobbe, asked me after spending the day with Pete, "Damn, girl!  Do you ice your arm at night? That boy is heavy!!"  Funny.

Well, speak of the devil, I hear Pete.  I guess he's not keen on taking a 3rd nap today after all.  Hmm... you win some, you lose some.   If you're ever at the Fayetteville Target (our home away from home), don't be surprised to see my partner dressed up like this...

Another Craigslist Success!

So, for any of you wondering... I did not get chopped up into little bits two days ago.  That was one of my chief concerns when I went to meet the "woman" I was hoping to buy a mirror from off of Craigslist.  I say "woman" because really, over email, how can you be sure?  Now my girlfriend, Meagan, offered to drive with me but I'm crazy like that and decided to throw caution to the wind and go alone.  The Craigslist woman and I agreed to meet in a Walgreens parking lot, in broad daylight, in order for me to (hopefully) purchase the mirror.  In somewhat of a womp womp, anti-climactic ending, the woman really did turn out to be a woman and a beautiful, expensively dressed, one at that.  Perhaps the lesson here is... if you're considering buying a used bathing suit or mattress off of Craigslist, pack heat for pick up.  A sunburst mirror?  Yeah... you're probably good.

Anyway... I gave her the $125, wrestled that heavy, cumbersome, ridiculously sharp mirror into my swagger wagon and was off!  I was afraid she was going to take it back after she kept telling me that she'd spent over $400 on it and how much she loved it but they were moving and didn't have a space for it, yadda, yadda... whatever.  Once I got it home I realized I had a problem.  How in the world was I going to lift and hang a mirror that had three strange holes on the back and no one to help me do it?  Clearly it needed to be anchored into the wall.  This mirror's no joke... it's heavy.  And I really didn't even understand how it was intended to be hung.

So I came up with two options.  1) Offer one of the construction workers in the neighborhood building homes $20 bucks to help me hang it.  or 2) Ask super quiet, introverted dad across the street to help me hang it.  I would've gone with the first option but Chris was worried about the whole chopping-to-bits part I think so... I mustered up the courage to ask the neighbor.  And thank God I did because he came over today and HUNG THE MIRROR!!!!  I was so happy, I could've kissed him.  But I definitely didn't because I am married and his wife was standing next to me.

Anyway, I'm definitely not done decorating the mantle or family room, but here's a picture of it up... I'm just so happy it's hanging because I really didn't think it was going up until Chris returned!

Preschool Madness...

I just wanted to take a minute to vent about finding the "right" preschool for Henry next fall.  My goodness is it tough!  There are about 100 in town to pick from... literally, it seems.  Most offer classes M-Th from 9-12.  Some offer an option of paying extra for a "lunch bunch" so they stay until 1:00pm.  (Duh.)  The school Henry is currently attending is one of the few that goes from 9:00-1:00 daily and he brings his lunch.  Henry loves feeling like a big boy with his lunch box so that's been great.  The "problem" with the school is that I think they spend too much time coloring, watching movies (what?) and going over things Henry already knows (the alphabet, numbers, etc).  Look... I get that we're not prepping him for Harvard (truly, I do), but Henry is very bright and could use a more challenging curriculum.  Plus, we're paying for it so I think it makes sense to shop around.  There are several schools I'm considering for next school year and of course everyone I speak to has a different opinion.  Of the people I've encountered, many have great things to say about Village Christian Academy.  It's the most expensive (around $375/ month I think) but I hear the curriculum and staff make it worthwhile.  At soccer last night, one of the moms sent her son there when he was a preschooler and just loved it.  The other mom was considering switching her son from Fayetteville Academy (incidentally where the boys practice) because they're spending $13,000 a YEAR for her 4th grader and don't really see commensurate results.  Huh.  I will say the director of the program (at Village) was incredibly open and forth coming and when I called to set up an appointment to view the school she said, "Anytime we're open, you're welcome" which made me feel good.  True to her word, we stopped by yesterday at 10:00 and she dropped everything she was doing to show us around.  And, considering both Henry and Peter acted like two caged animals the entire time (I wanted to snatch Henry under the arm and tell him to KNOCK IT OFF but of course he probably would've screamed, "Owww!  You hurrrrt me!" and embarrassed me more.)  Even during their rambunctious display, the director found them endearing.  Huh.  One other great thing is that they have a few openings left so my girlfriend, Cortney, arriving in June, could sign her daughter, Gabby, up as well if she was interested.  Many of the other schools already have a wait list and it would be so nice for Henry and Gabby to be together again (they were best buds at West Point) and of course, a carpool is always a bonus.  Are you thinking what I'm thinking??  That I just figured this out?  Huh.  Me too...


PS.  Okay, but those of you who really know me know that I'm still going to call around and visit the other schools probably.  Hee hee....

Perhaps I should use this picture of the boys with underwear on their heads for the application...

New friends...

It's funny how life works.  When I found out we were moving back to Ft. Bragg, my girlfriend whom I attended grad school classes with told me I just had to meet her good friend, Meagan, also living at Bragg.  Great, I said!  Our mutual friend, Angela, linked Meagan and I up over Facebook back in November  and, as luck would have it, Meagan and I realized our husbands would be working closely together.  Small world.  We've gotten together several times and I really enjoy her company.  Pete and her daughter, Jayme, really seem to like each other too (as do Henry and her other two children, Josie and Sawyer).  James still hasn't met her crew since we've only gotten together during school hours so far.

Here are a few pictures from this morning's playdate...

                                                        "Well, hello000oo Jayme!"

"Let's be boyfriend and girlfriend, okay?"

"What do you moms think??"

                                          "I don't know, Mom, but I think she might like me..."

                                                                     "You do, right??"

"Ohhhh, man.  What'd I do?!!"

I bet he pooped.

One week down!

Yesterday marked one week since Chris left.  Progress, I suppose.   We've had a busy week so it seemed to go by (somewhat) quickly.  Pete turned 1... I turned 35.... James had a Tiger Cub meeting where he made a pinewood derby boxcar... the big boys had soccer practice and games.  Overall, it was a pretty good week and I was truly humbled by your kind messages and thoughtful birthday gifts for both of us.  Thank you for being so good to us.

Aunt Megan sent Peter a new shopping cart for his birthday!  It just arrived yesterday and he loves dragging Bunny in and out of it.  Henry is in the background saying that Pete's beloved Bunny is actually a gift to him from Ita.  Now that Pete has decided Bunny is his lovie, Henry likes to find reasons to cuddle with it too.  Tricky...

What's funny is that I found a similar video from Georgia when James was about the same age, pushing a grocery cart, chasing after Mora!  Poor, sweet Mora...

Isn't amazing how similar they look?  James is much faster with that cart but I'm sure Pete will catch up in time...